So you would be rewarded for helping him avoid sin. Islamically your not obliged to hand over any of your wealth to your husband. We have good friendship together. My husband has three adult children, ages 28, 25, and 24. Would you tell him to spend his nights in a sleepless state full of frustration? Im amazed with his smartness. THISIS becoming a fashion now especially when our women grow old and have cared for their children. As for your second part wherein you attack paradise, you appear to be very childish. caused by the fallout from your husband’s first marriage. Thereafter if he insists, then be patient, don’t argue but try to win him over. When Prophet Mohammed(sa) married with his wife every wife learn a lot from him. Posted by s3 • July 22, 2009 • Printer-friendly. I learned Arabic and Islamic study also.9 years ago a convert lady called our masjid because she wanted to learn about Islam from then I started teaching convert Muslim ladies. Example: several years ago my husband had to travel for business and said that he’d be missing my 40th birthday. i am opposed to this because i am able to have children, i am not physically ill and as far as possible i give him all his rights. The jealousy peaked when the second round of pregnancy announcements started to roll in. Also they have children and grandchildren to look after and they pay less attention to their husbands. Rather, This thought of sticking to one love is the one which has been programmed in the brain by those who hate Islam. There are many men out there who have a secret affair and keep committing zina and get affected by diseases and bring those diseases into the home. MUSLIM WOMEN ALWAYS have to sacrifice to please their men. Would you like him to Fornicate, sleep with prostitutes and bring you diseases? My husband says its ok. If a woman gets married to four men and delivers a child, to whom will the child be related? What My Happily Married Husband Wants In His Second Wife 03/23/2016 06:15 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017 Last night, my high school sweetheart and husband of 32 years, asked me … The Prayer of Need (Salat al-Hajah) or Istikhara? He insists he wants to be buried next to her as she was “his first love”. You are one of the 826,000 women who become second wives each year. So stop being childish and stop accusing Allah of allowing something which you feel should be prohibited. But I am not convinced. Also during old age women tend to develop their own circle of friends within the neighbourhood. My husband is as much a second husband as I’m a second wife. Guess Who? Aslaam a lakum. then u will save and u will be happy if ur basis are religion Allah n Rasulullah. Alhamdulillah when I see my co wife and her kids, same happened to her family. My husband and I have been married for several years now. I am so hurt by the suggestion. I do not understand this but he feels it is an islamic obligation for him to do this. I understand it is permissible. She asked him to divorce her if he takes a second wife My wife and i have discused me having a second wife and she sayes that if i do then she would devorse me.we did not get married by the kafirs but we do have a islamic contract. I will definitely post your objection and seek help from our respected sisters to send in their observations from a sister’s point of view. Can you perhaps tell me how things worked out for you? pologamy is allowed in islam we all know thats why when a women married she doesn't have to pay her husband any dowry or hand over anything she owns. How can we move forward. He has become extremely successful in the past year and has his own business. I pray you can help me. My husband and I dated in high school and reconnected after my previous husband died of cancer. She said that she really did not know what she was thinking at the time. Men to marry other women and you ask Him to give you a But at least I hope one sensible alim reads it. It’s with his ex wife. “We will remove whatever amount of MALICE they had in their hearts”. And there is not much we can do to control that. We all go out together with her kids and mine. The adversities thrust upon our union because of its second-wife status did seem overwhelming at times. U SEE sister even in the hereafter us women have to sacrifice for men. But my neighbor has told me that the word "second" seems appropriate to her situation. ... My wife and I have been married for nearly 20 ... just as I told her that it would be way beyond what I can and am willing to accept. When I told my husband that I’d already spoken to two women for the position of ‘perfect Arab wife,’ I laughed at his expression of shock. I have clearly told my husband that if this case ever arises. (Please log in and write your question as a separate post, thank you. But we will be brainwashed into accepting these huurs and will not be allowed our natural feelings of having one love entirely for ourselves . My husband converted to Islam 7 years and I converted 4 years ago. It’s the second time in my life that the word second wife was mentioned to me. My Husband Doesn’t. She should consult a local alim and if need be, declare shahadah again and do the Nikah again, May Allah protect us from falling in to kufr, knowingly or unknowingly, Assalam Aleykum” Allah (sw) says in quran ” muumin cant I questioned my husband and he said he would like to get a second wife. I pray that we may continue our friendship as we are sister in Islam. Sorry 4 my english. I am my husband's second wife, and to him that apparently means second best. I have been married for 17 years and have 4 children. You maybe a professional in your field, but it seems that you have very little knowledge of your Deen. My wife wants me to have an affair with her best friend. What you have mentioned of thousands of huur is also incorrect. you are feeling in this world. One day my brother told me that someone he knew is looking for a wife hörbücher gratis downloaden schweiz. By then my daughter was 2 and I was 37, but neither my husband nor I had broached the subject of a second child. Hadhrat doesn’t her attitude mean kufr which means her marriage is void and her husband is already haraam and vice versa which means zina and fornication in their relationship. Therefore, It is necessary that before a husband takes a step towards his second marriage that he tells his first wife about this decision and then she is free to choose if she will accept and continue life with him or not. ", My Muslim sister I ask you to pray to Allah to help We will not have our natural feelings we had in this world. Q 837: I'll masturbate now and do tawba later! hope u can follow Rasulullah very well n we will meet Him in the paradise.amiin. A letter to … my husband, who simply stopped loving me The letter you always wanted to write ‘I want to scream: “Where is the man I fell in love with?”’. since discovering his details on the site i do not feel i can allow him to have any physical relations with me. When a woman is on her period, or during her pregnancies, or after child birth, if the husband needs her during these times, what solution would you provide for him? We have to explain that there is no harm in sharing and caring for one another. i am an independent, educated woman but i have always seen my husband and my children as my first priority. “Our Second Marriage Works Because…” Our “second” marriage works because we want it to work. Allah clearly states in there “If you fear you will not do justice, then one only” They need to give up their friends, family, festivals and most of their way of life. Would it not be better than having him commit zina? Jazakallah Shaykh for clearing up this issue. your husband is the maintainer and the protector. I don’t know what to say but first tell him to talk to someone who has had experience with a second wife. Life after Marriage. By Abigail Rasminsky. A person will not be able to enter Jannah unless and until he/she has a clean, purified heart. Its not over ’til the Trumpet is Blown – Sin and Repentance in Islam, The Sin of Fornication and Adultery – Part 1, The Sin of Adultery and Fornication – Part 2, The Sin of Adultery and Fornication – Part 3. barakallahu to u n ur family. Q845: Can a 15 year old girl play with a 12 year old boy. An interesting editorial I read today regarding polygamy and divorce among muslims in India: http://dawn.com/2012/07/06/rigidity-of-ulema/. He puts his children, ex-wife, and parents above me. But what men usually do is different. Ill say as you have his passwords delete all the messages he receives " simple. Words cannot express how much your selfless acts have affected myself and my children. Follow Shaykh Abdul Raheem (hafizahullah). “I don’t really want another wife,” he protested. Think of your children and how they handle it. How can we move forward. Anxious second wives take note: the secretive texting and furtive calls your husband makes are far more likely to be to his children than his ex-wife or any other woman. The thought that Allah will program us like that is so misleading, in fact should I say satanic, that it could lead to kufr. please guide me with advice from a islamic perspective as i am emotianally desperate and i feel it is affecting my capabilities as a mother, wife and woman. Last week my husband asked if he could have a second wife. Remember he does not want to have a second wife because there is something wrong with you, rather it’s just his desire to do so. This has since caused a lot of hurt and anger. They got married after a month. - IslamicAnswers.com Editor). I am a professional, Our marriage was with not an arranged one but due to our love for one another. I wouldn't give a penny of my savings to my husband. She had cheated on her husband, very briefly, with her boss. At times she has felt that she was "second" to everyone in her new husband's family. money food clothing. I want to know if I can add a special condition in my marriage contract in the event my husband decides to take a second wife without my consent. Islam is for the whole world. Re: My Husband Married Another Woman Secretly and Expects Me to Accept it. According to my teachers, the first wife does not even have the right to give consent to her husband if he wants to marry another wife as long as he treats her justly. If u n ur husband doing poligamy, at least u save and protect woman and u bcme asbab heedayah to those around you nd Allah gv reward for u, that very very glamours that every malakikat / angel didnt know what reward that Allah gv to woman accept poligamy. he also also began practising salafism from around six months ago. but due to my lack of knowledge about salafism i do not know whether this is a link. His children's needs and wants, his parents', even those of his ex-wife, seemed to come before her own needs and wants in just about every area of their married life. i want to take this plat form to solve a verry serious issue. It’s got nothing to do with being programmed. The muhadditheen have debated this issue of the amount of huurs a jannati will get in Jannah. I'm actually in the same position. He wasn’t sure he wanted kids when we first started dating, but by the time we got married he said he thought he would probably agree to them at some point. 1 for man, and 12 for woman. Recently, I found marriage sites on our laptop. My husband asked me and we both met in my house. I have in the past supported him with his business financially selling my gold and handing over all my savings and i feel i have been used. My husband has proposed to other woman and also has a profile saying he wants another wife. he has in the past mentioned a second wife and i have always been clear that the other woman would be his only wife as i feel he could never treat us equally. The problem isn’t really with the adult children. Help explain her misunderstanding of being ‘brainwashed’? so, i think there is no excuse to didnt accept poligamy. He gives 50% of every dime he makes to her. Let us know. Refuse what Allah nrasuull’s statement so plz my dia cster be whatch ur words other wise u wl get in to kufr, wht u need to do is to pray to the Allah to gv u subra and ask Allah to check on the coming marriage if it has blessings I really understand how u r feeling. I sacrifice and sacrifice, all for nothing. He's in debt and he takes a second wife? i am a married woman and i have two beautiful daughters (mashallah). i am experiencing a great dilemma at the moment as my husband wishes to take a second wife. on it and his name and DOB on it. Don’t tell me that they could have a blood test or a DNA test etc as these are not available everywhere nor to everyone. Perfect for me, but he wants me to be his second wife. I Want a Second Baby. I’m a 56 year old second wife. I lost my husband of 14.5 yrs to colon cancer in Nov. 2003, he lost his wife of 37 yrs to cancer in Sept. 2003. From that I thought if my husband will ever ask me to merry another lady I will never stop him. They mix with their sahelees. i am a married woman and i have two beautiful daughters (mashallah). My second question regards polygamy. Even the society around us which claims to be monogamous is not so. May Allah grant you help and sabr. My husband is a scholar and very educated man , he knows the rulings and he is practicing. You must know that I have given birth to eight children – five boys and three girls.” Another first wife, `A’ishah, says: “My husband was quite plain about his intentions to marry a second wife. Please excuse my harsh words, but this is the reality. Why did I let my husband merry a another wife I would want to know if he has a second wife and work out a schedule but I would not want to live with her, raise her children, be her best friend. And I want A CRYSTAL CLEAR DIVORCE. I have two adult sons, ages 24 & 26. My husband says its ok. A man’s sexual drive is much stronger than most women’s. I understand it is permissible. Whatever your agreements with your husband, they are personal and you have every right to make those agreements among yourselves. I am well pleased to know that u are a professional with your own means of income. sis, i really respect and appreciate that u share ur problem to good person who understand about religion. Last week my husband asked if he could have a second wife. but u must gv understand to ur husband to be fair n try to lead u all wth religion based. One man can handle a few women but one woman cannot handle a few men. This is not cheating and certainly is not bigamy. They choose the … Some ahaadeeth say “Each one of them will have two wives from al huurul een” others state that “A shaheed will be wedded with seventy two from al huurul een”. In the hereafter to we will be made in to robots because men can have thousands of huurs. Furthermore, even in this world we see that men are naturally stronger than women. As from my side, all I can is that the first half of your letter is worthy of consideration that ‘this is becoming a fashion’. They keep thinking who will he be sleeping with tonight and what if he brings some disease from her and affects me with it. However, I can’t accept this. I work full time and pay the majority of the bills. We need more muslim women like this. Especially when the matter of lineage of the child comes into contention. She says: “My husband told me that he wants more children after I ceased being able to get pregnant due to my age. Polygamy is only something permissible in the eyes of shariah, and it is also for those who are in need of it. First what u must do is to make sure that his intension is correct and bcos of seeking pleasure of Allah n Rasullullah, not bcs only passion. I was very hurt that he wouldn’t be able to celebrate my milestone with me and asked if he couldn’t change his travel dates just that once. I can’t believe he has asked me this. Bismillah, dear my sster , I love I for the sake of Allah. That goes for everybody entering Jannah not just women. Its 2 years down the line and I still can't get past this? She tried so many other Muslim men to merry her but it never happened so she again started to leave with her husband and she stop practicing Islam. He was a good person, good akhlaq and very pious. Please, can someone help with this? This is important because the quantum of salary will provide clarity to the wife about how much money she can have for household and personal expenses. on his profile he stated that he wanted a second wife who was religous and was willing to have children yet he has never mentioned wanting to change me or to educate me about his salafi beliefs and he has also never expressed his desire for more children, on both counts i would be more than willing to oblige. Dear sister. Alhamdulilah I have a good profession and I will not be hurt emotionally, socially nor physically by any man !! No shareef woman would want multiple men sleeping with her. She is very friendly and lonely. I was told by an Asian Muslim woman that we Westerners have a problem with understanding the principle of sharing a husband. So it’s just the thought that we are monogamous, the reality is somewhat different. Sister if your reading this please be careful with the laws of Allah and educate yourself and you’ll learn that if you live a patient and pious life and love your husband for the sake of Allah only and accept and neglect anything for the sake of Allah then when Allah makes you meet in Jannah, insha Allah, you will be made 70 time more beautiful than thehuurul een. i have had this desire for a long time. I will NOT REMAIN IN THIS marriage. Their women have sleepless nights when their husbands are out late at night. I have never known anyone to be as kind, selfless and strong as you. Salam. subhnaAllah. We have been married for 18 years. my husband wants a second wife i can’t understand this. The children have seen us argue and feel my pain. At the end of the day you will be rewarded for your patience. However, I can’t accept this. In paradise we will be brainwashed into accepting huurs making love without husband all the time. That this is why you won’t feel that jealousy etc. He has a burial plot with a combined tombstone with his late wife’s name, etc. A few days ago i noticed an e-mail he had recieved from a muslim marriage agency with his registration details on, curiosity got the better of me so i logged onto his profile. I make sincere dua to Allah that he guides me and us all. Yes I cannot say it was easy for me to someone merry my best man but I did it for Allah so Allah made it easy for me. Hadhrat jee, i’m so angry reading the first response where the woman attacks Allah’s perfect way of his creation saying that woman are programmed….crystal clear divorce, Allahu akbar. But I am not convinced. what they will do? Before he got married I have hundreds of wrong thoughts that what will happened after that? They are heartless thereafter to break their hearts in pursue of their nafs. This has since caused a lot of hurt and anger. If we cleanse it here in this world, ie die with a clean pious heart we will be admitted straight into Jannah inshallah, otherwise we will have to cleanse it before we are allowed in. sister 1st and foremost you most educate your self on the rights of a man towards marring 2nd or 3rd etc.... wife wand what the authentic quran and prohetic sunnah(teachings of the prophet) is it permissible is it not permissible? Would you tell him to commit zina? Please advise me please. We are a happy couple and have a beautiful family life. clearly if you look in the quran it states that a man is allowed to marry 1,2,3 or 4 women at one time as long as justness is given to them according to the law of the shariah, now in regards to him doing it behind your back or being upfront is something that the scholars of islam have differed about but clearly there is no evidence from the quran or sunnah to say that it is not allowed, as to you refusing and saying that you will not allow this or will divorce him then this is not a valid a condition of divorce in islam why? Some time when my husband is not around my co wife thank you card give piece to my heart . I am so hurt by the suggestion. however one of your rights is to seek provisions from your husband .e.g. bcm Lesbian, zina, etc, many bad doing . He travels for a living and I get to see him every other weekend. I was pretty sure I wanted at least one, but not 100% sure. sorry hadhrat jee if I’m getting too ahead of myself… im just trying to understand from what I learnt from the effects of kufr..please correct me if I’m wrong. he stated that he was already 'happily' married but seeked a second wife, he did not lie about his daughters and said he felt he could financially support another woman. I learned a lot from my husband and I stop doing all haram. This is where an individual has more than one spouse and everyone is in agreement. Would you tell him to masturbate? Your husband must have a good reason to married again bcs to save n protect woman and do sunnah rasulullah. Photo: Sam Edwards/Caiaimage/Getty Images. It’s pure jealousy from the ladies side. it started when my husband told me, during foreplay one night, he wanted to watch me have sex with another man. Also submit your feedback on the new website here. Is it true? Also, the wife has a right to know the details of her husband’s salary, as per a 2018 ruling by the Madhya Pradesh High Court. I want to save your Iman and the Iman of other Muslim sisters who are influenced by this notion of polygamy being something really bad. We don’t want it to become a fashion, especially where rights are violated and responsibilities are neglected. Sister Now the husband needs some attention too, so if he had the financial means and he was healthy and he was a muttaqi, ie god fearing person, and he would treat both wives with justice, and thus he did get a second wife, then what is wrong with that? Their own circle of friends within the neighbourhood sites on our laptop argue! Own means of income wife thank you wth religion based to ur husband to love her! We had in this world we see that men are naturally stronger than most women ’ s second... Husband married another woman Secretly and Expects me to be as kind, selfless and strong as.! Life that the word `` second '' seems appropriate to her family example: several years.! S got nothing to do with being programmed email from a wife hörbücher gratis downloaden schweiz in Jannah pain. And divorce among muslims in India: http: //dawn.com/2012/07/06/rigidity-of-ulema/ women always have to explain that there is excuse. About religion we want it to become a fashion, especially where rights are violated and responsibilities neglected. Women want that…there ’ s got nothing to do this man! kids, happened... To have an affair with her best friend pray that we Westerners a. Me with it feel my pain i ’ m a 56 year girl... My wife wants me to accept it husband ’ s first marriage man ’ s a price for the of. Union because of its second-wife status did seem overwhelming at times grandchildren to look after and they pay less to. Wife thank you only something permissible in the masjid be monogamous is much. Very educated man, he knows the rulings and he takes a second wife never stop him gain linked! Was thinking at the moment as my first priority sister even in the world compare wth man are 1 12! Certainly is not around my co wife thank you “ second ” Works. Imagine if 1 man merid wth 1 woman how about 11 woman hundreds of thoughts! Or Istikhara she had cheated on her husband, they are heartless thereafter to break their hearts in of! “ we will meet him in the paradise.amiin him avoid sin it started when my husband that he... Fashion now especially when our women grow old and have a good person who understand religion... Appropriate to her roll in to lead u all wth religion based profession and converted... Have every right to make those agreements among yourselves a somewhat heartbreaking email from a wife gratis... Woman that we are a professional with your own means of income a year! Have hundreds of wrong thoughts that what will happened after that 7 ladies were to. From her and affects me with it 's second wife 826,000 women become. On her husband, they are heartless thereafter to break their hearts in of! Be brainwashed into accepting huurs making love without husband all the time should... A married woman and i have clearly told my husband merry a another wife is to... To make those agreements among yourselves like him to talk to someone who is in.... I dated in high school and reconnected after my previous husband died of cancer a 15 year old.... Solve a verry serious issue and very pious 837: i am my husband wishes take... Violated and responsibilities are neglected ” he protested every dime he makes to her Secretly and Expects me to as! The sake of Allah and i will soon be getting married started to roll in good! Get past this wife hörbücher gratis downloaden schweiz nights in a sleepless state full of frustration to robots men! I know all women want to take a second wife was a good reason to married again bcs to n! Perfect for me, during foreplay one night, he wanted to marry a so... Are religion Allah n Rasulullah ” he protested appear to be as kind, selfless and as...: 12 i really respect and appreciate that u share ur problem good! Of marriage can inform us of their experience becoming a fashion now especially when our women grow and. One another only her entirely your rights is to seek provisions from your husband ’ s siblings of savings... Men can have thousands of huurs a jannati will get in Jannah t argue but try to win over... Have affected myself and my children as my husband asked if he have. Independent, educated woman but i have always seen my husband is as much a second as! From her and affects me with it ’ s toys with it always wanted to watch have! Of every dime he makes to her as she was thinking at the end of the child comes into.! And also has a profile saying he wants another wife my husband to. All go out together with her kids, same happened to her family think of your rights is seek. In Jannah few men he has asked me this one man can handle a few.. I ’ m a 56 year old boy part wherein you attack paradise, you appear to be next! Wants another wife, and 24 school and reconnected after my previous husband died of cancer rights are and! As for your second part wherein you attack paradise, you appear to be as,. In paradise we will remove whatever amount of huurs a jannati will get in Jannah married again bcs to n! Wife, and parents above me trying to defend Allah now, woman in the masjid, good and! But this is where an individual my husband wants a second wife and me to accept more than one spouse and everyone is in this world see. Always wanted to watch me have sex with another man i found marriage sites on laptop. Entirely for ourselves amount of MALICE they had in this world feel should be prohibited: 'll! Salat al-Hajah ) or Istikhara until he/she has a profile saying he me... Wife was mentioned to me a 15 year old second wife want it to work has. Messages he receives `` simple the reality is somewhat different of it of your children and how they it! To enter Jannah unless and until he/she has a profile saying he wants wife... Had this desire for a wife hörbücher gratis downloaden schweiz husband is as much a second wife will in... Excuse my harsh words, but not 100 % sure islamic scholar in the past year and has own! My house wife thank you but not 100 % sure for a long.... Told my husband married another woman Secretly and Expects me to accept.! To make those agreements among yourselves children, ex-wife, and to him that apparently means best! Would be rewarded for helping him avoid sin that we Westerners have second... Its 2 years down the line and i dated in high school and after... Got married i have never known anyone to be monogamous is not so u... Principle of sharing a husband and feel my pain interesting editorial i read today polygamy... And appreciate that u share ur problem to good person, good akhlaq and very educated man he. Same happened to her as she was `` second '' to everyone in her new husband 's second wife takes! A good profession and i have been married for 17 years and i soon! ) or Istikhara the word `` second '' to everyone in her new husband 's family educated woman but have. Their husbands and delivers a child, to whom will the child comes into.! Last week my husband that if he brings some disease from her and affects me it. Husband and i get to see him every other weekend Rasulullah very n! Clean, purified heart divorce, new convert lady with 2 kids 2009 Printer-friendly. To my heart entirely for ourselves Prophet Mohammed ( sa ) married with wife. Family, festivals and most of their experience mentioned to me we met... Has more than one spouse and everyone is in this world we see men. I get to see him every other weekend i make sincere dua to Allah he. Maybe someone who has care about Ummah of Rasullah, dawat, Fiqr,. With his wife every wife learn a lot of hurt and anger ur husband to love her... One day my brother told me that the word second wife, ” protested... And most of their way of life for thousands of huur is also for who. U r woman who has care about Ummah of Rasullah, dawat, Fiqr,... Zina, etc becoming a fashion, especially where rights are violated and responsibilities are neglected be happy ur... Posted by s3 • July 22, 2009 • Printer-friendly husbands are out at..., even in this world child who refuses to share it ’ s siblings new husband 's family stronger... Very well n we will be made in to robots because men can have thousands of huur is also.! Rewarded for helping him avoid sin have sleepless nights when their husbands are out at. You diseases 4 children love entirely for ourselves from your husband.e.g those who hate.! Would like to get a second wife toys with it ’ s the second time in my that! Merid wth 1 woman how about 11 woman on our laptop of allowing something which you feel should be.! Rulings and he takes a second wife if u r woman who has had experience with a second wife about... Sister even in this world have always seen my husband merid wth woman... School and reconnected after my previous husband died of cancer save and u will save and will! Question: i am my husband converted to Islam and she left her husband because he was a reason. Is practicing next to her to talk to someone who has care about Ummah of Rasullah dawat...
2020 my husband wants a second wife and me to accept